Oh What a Tangled Web We Weave

Oh what a tangled web we weave when we practice to steal newspapers because you think you look fat in a photo.

At first glance the photo below looks like several attractive girls having fun at a sporting event. It wasn’t until after I read the story that I started examining the girls (third from left) photo trying to “figure” out what part of her body she could possibly be insecure about. Just what she was afraid might happen.

I guess you could say the cover up was worse than the crime.

Jennifer Carsillo, 18, (third from left) said she and a friend grabbed 130 copies of The Gatepost paper because they were embarrassed about this photo, shot at a lacrosse game.

By Associated PressFRAMINGHAM, Mass. -- "I just kind of got caught up in the moment and grabbed a whole bunch of copies," Jennifer Carsillo, 18, tells the Boston Globe. She and a friend hid the papers in their dorm rooms, according to the paper. "We didn't think it was a big deal," she says.

They apparently felt the photo made them look fat, the paper's faculty adviser said.The photo in the April 27 edition of The Gatepost at Framingham State College shows seven fans at a women's lacrosse game with ``I (heart) N-O-O-N-A-N,'' the name of a friend on the team, spelled out on their stomachs. They are wearing hip-hugger shorts and abbreviated tank tops.Campus police won't pursue criminal charges, but two students face possible disciplinary action, college spokesman Peter Chisholm said.English professor

Desmond McCarthy, the faculty adviser, said he was told by other students the women who took the papers thought they looked fat.``This is the most stupid reason the paper has been stolen,'' said McCarthy, adding that editions of The Gatepost have been stolen four times in the past 15 years.

We’ll just have to wait and see about this.

We can’t even get the 5 day weather forecast right and I'm supposed to believe this?

Scott Norrisfor National Geographic News
May 16, 2007
The sun and Earth will probably be spun out into a lonely region of space when the Milky Way and Andromeda galaxies finish colliding about five billion years from now, researchers say in a new study.

There's also a small chance that our solar system will be swept from its home in the Milky Way and scooped up by Andromeda during an earlier close encounter, in just three-and-a-half-billion years.

Anyway if this doesn’t happen I want all these scientists fired immediately.

Sign of the Times

This billboard was put up by a couple of Chicago attorneys. I guess it was taken down because of a permit violation. The attorneys said that in the short time it was up their business improved dramatically.
So I was thinking that someone should counter this with a pro-marriage billboard like the one below.

Please Note: For those who don’t know me I'm a happily married guy.
(Just having some fun)

I Just Had an Idea

The information below is from the website of a company called Celestis http://www.memorialspaceflights.com/default.asp
(This is the company that just launched Scotty from Star Trek into space)

The company charges $495.00 to put 1 gram of your loved ones ashes into a little capsule and then launch it into space for a couple of minutes and then it floats back to earth and then returned to the family for a keepsake.

Earth-Return Service

• Our Earth-Return service affordably launches a symbolic portion of cremated remains to space, and after experiencing the zero gravity environment, returns the individual flight capsules and modules back to Earth
• After a successful flight, the Earth-Return payload, including flown flight capsules and modules, is recovered, validated as having reached space, and the capsule or module is returned to the family or loved one as a keepsake
• Standard Price $495
• In the event that the Celestis Earth Orbit Service spacecraft does not achieve orbit, we will — at no additional cost — place a second sample of the cremated remains aboard our next scheduled mission.
  
  

Here’s My Idea
So I was thinking about all the people who love baseball and came up with this idea.

I will call this service Final Inning®

• Family can select their deceased loved ones favorite baseball Picher and batter to participate.
• A sports drink (of your choice) and 1 gram of ashes of your loved one will be injected into the center of a major League baseball.
• The pitcher will pitch to the batter for a maximum of 1 hour to achieve a flight of 385 ft. or a homerun which ever comes first.
• If this distance or a homerun is not achieved after 1 hour the pitcher will throw the baseball as far as he can to try and duplicate a 385 ft. flight.
• The keepsake ball will be signed by both players for added sentimental value.
• Baseball will be placed against an official Final Inning plaque suited for hanging or placing on a shelf or mantle.
• Cost of Final Inning services will be based on the two ball players present salary prorated
  (1 hour)
• Average cost is between $5,000.00 & $75,000.00
•