Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Blogball (Fake) News Story

I walked in front of the mirror the other day and from my point of view it caught just the lower part of my body. I was sorry to admit it but my reflection kind of looked like those people they show on those fat TV news stories where they show the body and not the head. OK I admit that I have gained a little weight after I tied the knot but maybe just a pound or two a year. The problem is I’ve been married almost 17 years.

Anyway I was thinking if some attorney decided to represent all of these headless figures in a class action lawsuit it might look something like this ......

A Class Action Lawsuit has been filed for all the obese individuals that have been photographed without their permission.

The Complaint alleges that just not showing their faces is not good enough for the people that recognize themselves or are recognized by close friends and family.

Here are just some of the individuals that have stepped forward to participate in this lawsuit.

Nora Olson from St Paul Minnesota said “I just couldn’t believe how humiliated I felt.
I was watching this special on TV called Obesity is Killing America and there I was with my good friend Alice eating the new Nacho Crunch Stuffed Burrito from Taco Bell’

Rodger Johnson from Miami Florida said” I was looking at some news stories on line and I came across this article called Overweight Men and Impotency Is There a Connection? I did a double take when I saw a picture next to the article of guy that had a tie that looked just like the one my ex-wife gave me. Then I looked a little closer and sure enough that guy was me. I thought hard about participating in this lawsuit because I know I will hear it from by buddies at work’.

Margaret Roastberger from a northwest suburb of Boston says “I have been in therapy for 9 months now. I was relaxing watching TV and the news came on about how some of the airlines are thinking about charging extra for people that are 50 or more pounds overweight. I had just returned from a very strenuous business trip only to see a photo of me at the airport as I was about to board a plane back home to Boston. It’s bad enough when you think you might have to pay extra money for an airline ticket but now I have to put up with the thought that they used me as some sort of poster lady for fat travelers”.

Eileen Stovetop from Wichita Kansas says “Its Just not right. My best friend called me and said Hey Eileen I just saw you on the news! I had no idea what she was talking about until I watched the evening edition and they were doing a news piece called Obesity and Smoking Equals a Death Wish. They were showing all these heavy-set people but not their faces and there I was with my brand new shorts I just bought at Sears. My friends are still teasing me and that story ran 2 years ago".


mamacita said...

Dear Blogball,
Did you make these up, including the photos, or are they for real?

blogball said...

Hi Mamacita, stuff posted on the No Agenda Zone is always original never before seen by the world material created by Blogball. The pictures posted above are actual assorted photos the media uses for obese related stories.

unca said...

This is laugh out loud, funny. You had me going for awhile.

anya said...

I've wondered about those headless unfortunates, too -- including the people in the "Fashion Don'ts" section of women's magazines and such. Hate to be the star of that feature and have someone recognize you...