Monday, February 07, 2005

Valentines Day

Well here it comes, Valentines Day
I have never met a married guy that looks forward to this day.

Some wife’s might say to their husbands “Oh honey don’t worry about getting me anything for Valentines day just being with you is enough for me”
Translation: You better get something even if it’s only one lousy red rose or you are dead meat.

I am very lucky. I am married to an honest woman. She says to me “honey you better get me something for Valentines day or you are dead meat” After all a man wants to know where he stands with his woman.

Every year is the same and I’m sure this year won’t be any different. It goes something like this:

I always wait until the very last minute for this joyous occasion. This means on the way home from work at 6:00 PM on the 14th of February. I don’t know why I do this, maybe it’s my way of protesting the whole thing. As I am driving to the local Hallmark store I am plotting my strategy. OK I will get a card and then hop over to the store across the street to buy her that thing she likes. Bing Bang then I’m home sweet home. (Of course deep down I know it will never go that smooth)
As I enter the store I see the Hallmark store is in a frenzy with my last second card buyer fraternity brothers bumping into each other in a six square foot card section area that says FOR WIFE.
Before I entered the store I was thinking that I might get her a humorous card but not really that silly just something simple to show my love to her with a little sense of humor to it. As I survey the situation I downsize my ambitions to a card that says wife and love somewhere on it and it is in English.
As I look through the few remaining cards I am reading phrases like
“Baby, I Love you so much, I can just lose control”
(As you get older this might not be such a good thing)

Here is an original one: “You are my soul mate forever”

One year I remember reading something like: “You have peeled away the calloused layers of emotion, which I have built up over the years”

Here is one of my favorites: “Your love has set me free” (No comment)

How about this one: “Our many years together speaks for itself” (I’m thinking to myself then why am I buying this stupid card)

I really love my wife allot but I can never really relate to these cards. Does a married person actually write these things? It’s now almost 7:00 PM so I settle for a card I don’t like but at least I don’t hate. Now I have run accrossthe street to pick up that gift she probably won't like.

I arrive home and of course my wife is on to me by now. “Why are you so late?”
Translation: I know you waited till an hour ago to buy something for me.
I’m thinking at least I’m not in the dead meat category.

There actually is one day I do look forward to every year and that’s, February 15.


unca said...

Wow, was this a LOL, hilarious, and most of all, on-target post! Here's an additional wrinkle: my wife's birthday is February 18th which means the entire middle of the month is pretty much taken up with this kind of stress. How about a realistic valentine card that says something like:
It's Valentine's Day
Here's this card I bought for you
Hope you like it

mamacita said...

Even though I am a woman, I thought your post was hilarious Blogball. It really did make me LOL. I try to remember to get a card for my husband but even when I forget (I don't know how this happens?!) he always has a card and gift for me. So after 41 years I'm very lucky. In the days when we were "courting" (I did most of the courting I think) he never remembered any important dates at all. There were a fair number of tearful scenes until he finally got the idea. Now he's really good at it. Hope you have a great Valentine's Day! (try venturing out on the 13th) :)

Erik said...

If you didn't have to sleep on the couch, success!!

bryan torre said...

you could not imagine the grief/stress i have had with the whole gift/card/flowers thing. i feel the need to blog about it myself. since you've nailed the funny parts of the whole deal, maybe i'll cover the part that sucks out your soul, leaving behind a shriveled husk that once was a man...

blogball said...

Many times I have thought to myself the perfect situation would be if your wife were born on Valentines Day. Then of course you would have convinced her to get married on that day as well to complete the trifecta. (No brainer there) Ah yes 364 days in a row of bliss.