Mean and Crotchety Law for Men

This is a true news story. "Honest"
Other sources here: http://www.adnkronos.com/AKI/English/CultureAndMedia/?id=1.0.1918751113
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2008/02/28/wcrotch128.xml
one moe thing: Can anybody tell me why Italian men touch themselves below for good luck - or when watching a hearse pass by?
Italy: Court rules crotch-scratching a crime
Thursday, February 28, 2008
It may be a harmless and instinctive reflex for many men - but scratching your crotch has been outlawed in Italy. The country's Court of Appeal has issued a "hands-off" ruling which threatens to fine anyone caught touching or reshuffling below the belt. The judges condemned what they saw as "an act contrary to decorum and public decency". But the ruling has sparked a backlash in Italy, where many touch themselves below for good luck - or when watching a hearse pass by. A 42-year-old man from Como had been appealing against a 200 euro fine for gross indecency last May, claiming he was innocently adjusting his overalls. But the judges have now rejected his bid, saying: "The touching of genitalia in public is a sign of ill manners and must be considered against public decency. "The rules of social etiquette require all of us to abstain from what might be considered offensive to public decorum." The defendant not only had to pay his 200 euro fine - but ordered to hand over another 1,000 euros.

Wherefore art thou, Romeo

Meet the world's smallest bodybuilder

At just 2ft 9in, Indian muscleman Aditya 'Romeo' Dev is the world's smallest bodybuilder. Pint-sized Romeo is well-known in his hometown of Phagwara, India - for his ability to lift 1.5kg dumbbells - despite his overall 9kg body weight. Every day, crowds flock to the local gym to the see the mini-muscleman in training
Unlike many dwarfs, Romeo is well proportioned, with a head circumference of 15in and a chest measurement of 20in. Romeo said: "I've been training as a bodybuilder for the last two years and by now I think I must be the strongest dwarf in the world. "I have always been fit but since I started working out, I have become famous for my strength. "My size has never stopped me. I train with dumbbells and do aerobics and dance. People are always pleased to see me. I have been invited on TV shows and dance on stage."
His trainer Ranjeet Pal spents hours helping his 19-year-old protege build his small muscles to perfection. Because of his small size, I don't assign him hard exercises. But Romeo trains more or less the same as anyone else and he's much more determined.
"When he first started, I insisted he did a month of basic exercises like aerobics, push-ups and basic gymnastics to prepare his body.
























OK, besides seeing a 2ft 9in body builder with yellow hair and a black mustache and spindly legs there was a couple of things that kind of stood out when I first saw these *pictures above.
The first thing that I noticed is why the heck can’t he find some weight lifting clothes that don’t look like they came from the toddlers department at Kmart?
The other thing I noticed is that that you would think if you were 1/3 the size of an average person one of the few advantages you might have is not looking your full age. This guy looks at least 40 and it says in the article he is only 19!

*These are real pictures. (No Blogball photo manipulation could compete with the real thing in this case)

Some Current Events

Garbage collectors will wear uniforms made from the same recycled bottles they collect Muncie, Indiana - Employees of the Muncie Sanitary District will wear uniforms made from the same recycled bottles they collect each week. With a $5,000 grant from the Indiana Department of Environmental Management, the district will purchase 100-percent recycled jackets, T-shirts and polo shirts for its 140 employees.Lina Gordy, grant specialist for the district, said securing the grant is the city's latest effort to "go green." It's also a way for local government to save money from its own coffers that typically gets spent on uniforms of city employees.






Ice from airplane potty crashes through Calgary roof
Last Updated: Thursday, February 7, 2008 5:00 PM MT
Chunks of ice that smashed through a Calgary woman's roof came from the lavatory of an airplane flying overhead, transportation investigators said Thursday.
Marian Liknes was sitting and talking on the phone in the bedroom of her southeast home Thursday morning when she heard what she thought was an explosion behind her, said her husband, Wade.
Firefighters found two to three 15-centimetre chunks of ice on a bed inside the home, along with pieces of shingles, plywood, drywall and insulation.
The falling ice broke a hole about 30 centimetres wide in the roof.
John Lee, a manager with the Transportation Safety Board, confirmed the ice — made up of toilet water, antifreeze, disinfectant and human waste — came from an airplane bathroom.
He told CBC News planes can't evacuate the contents of a tank while in flight, but flying into warmer air can trigger some melting, which can cause a holding tank to malfunction.

SOME SPORTING NEWS

South Korean players dislocate shoulders to dodge draft
SEOUL, Feb 4 (Reuters) - Ninety-two current and former South Korean soccer players have been indicted for dodging military service by intentionally dislocating their shoulders to receive medical exemptions, a prosecutor said on Monday.
South Korean men spend up to 24 months in the military as part of mandatory service in the 670,000-strong armed forces, a duty which can hamper the careers of athletes.
The players, including 15 professional K-League players, dislocated their shoulders by methods such as swinging their arms while holding heavy weights or having fellow players jump on their shoulders, the official said.

PITTSBURGH — A high school wrestling coach accused of biting a wrestler in the leg has agreed to resign rather than face possible criminal charges, police said.
Mike Marshall bit the Central Cambria High School wrestler at practice on Jan. 21, Cambria Township police Officer James McGough said.
"The coach was wrestling with him and bit him in the leg, the upper thigh," McGough said.
Marshall's attorney, John D. Messina, said the incident was "completely innocent" and not malicious."The incident occurred while he was joking around with one of the wrestlers," Messina said. "Certainly it was poor judgment and it cost him his job."
Marshall was expected to resign Wednesday, Messina said.

AFTER - BEFORE

I just read about this lady recently but I guess she has been around for awhile.
Her name is Jocelyne Wildenstein. You can read about her sad story
HERE
Believe it or not the 2nd picture is the after picture from almost 4 million dollars of plastic surgery. What amazes me is that she was an attractive woman to start with. I’m not totally against plastic surgery but I guess it’s like everything else. One needs to know when enough is enough. (And the same goes for the doctors performing the surgery) I’m sure we have all seen example of famous people where they actually look better before than after.

So I was thinking.. wow I’m sure glad plastic surgery wasn’t as popular in the past as it is now.

Then I thought.. hey I wonder what some of the famous people from the past would look like with a little nip & tuck.
So here are a few No Agenda Zone examples.

NOTE: The last subject was the most difficult because of her unsightly cracks.

Another Blogball Hidden Talent

During a successful art show where I was showing off my latest abstract art pieces I was asked to perform with a famous orchestra playing 1st cello. Not ever playing the cello I was a bit apprehensive but I’m a pretty quick study so I said OK. This clip shows me playing a piece called 4’33”.
NOTE: This was all self taught on my part. (Not one lesson) Even though this was the only piece they let me play it was still a thrilling experience.

Just Call me Blogball the Arteest

WE HAVE A WINNER (SEE COMMENTS)

Because I can’t draw or paint when I have a certain idea or image in my mind for the No Agenda Zone I have to resort to cutting, pasting, tweaking, etc. a bunch of images together to create one illustration. Then I saw some abstract paintings on display and said to myself “hey now this is more up my alley"

Four (4) of these paintings below are legitimate modern/ abstract art pieces the other four (4) are the works by the new, up & coming abstract artist Blogball. Can you spot the legit ones?

The winner will receive a signed & numbered lithograph of one of Blogball's works.

By the way one of these paintings below just sold for 140 Million Dollars. I’m not kidding you.

Click HERE and make your own Jackson Pollock painting




Note: Click on picture again to have a better shot at winning this valuable prize

Another Study Way Too Hip For Me

OK here’s another study that proves once again we are running out of things to study. Before I get to this latest study here are a few more examples

Democrats and Republicans Both Adept at Ignoring Facts, Study ...

Infant, Adult Sleep Similar, Rat Study Says

Parasite "Brainwashes" Rats Into Craving Cat Urine, Study Finds

Ok as promised here is the latest study:

Study Shows Curvy Hips Make Women Smarter

LONDON, Nov. 11 (UPI) -- Women with small waists and big hips also have big IQs, a new U.S. study has found.A study of 16,000 women determined those with hourglass figures were more intelligent than their counterparts with round or straight bodies, The Sunday Times of London reported.Curvier women also tended to have more intelligent children, possibly because omega3 fatty acids are stored in their hips, the British newspaper said. Skinny women, or those whose fat deposits are around their waists do not have such deposits.The study, to be published in the journal Evolution and Human Behavior this week, may explain earlier findings that men prefer women with smaller waists than hips even if they are compared to slimmer women, said the study's authors at the University of Pittsburgh and the University of California, Santa Barbara.

We might be running out of things to study

This is an actual article from the National Geographic Website.
I couldn’t wait to share it with everybody.

Herring Break Wind to Communicate, Study Suggests

James Owen in England

for National Geographic News

In polite society, flatulence is often a social faux pas—especially when issued deliberately. But in the world of fish, group "raspberry-blowing" sessions appear to perform an important social role. This intriguing idea comes from scientists who discovered that herring create a mysterious underwater noise by farting. Researchers suspect herring hear the bubbles as they're expelled, helping the fish form protective shoals at night. It's the first ever study to suggest fish communicate by breaking wind. The study's findings, now published online in the U.K. science journal Biology Letters, reveal that Atlantic and Pacific herring create high-frequency sounds by releasing air from their anuses.
We know [herring] have excellent hearing but little about what they actually use it for," said research team leader Ben Wilson, a marine biologist at the Bamfield Marine Science Centre, British Columbia, Canada. "It turns out that herring make unusual farting sounds at night."

You can read the whole article Here

Many images came to mind when reading this article. This is just one of them

Another Smoking Ban

California bans smoking in cars with child passengers

LOS ANGELES (AFP) -Arnold Schwarzenegger has passed a law making it an offense to smoke in a car carrying children under the age of 18, official sources said Thursday.
The new law -- the latest in a series of crackdowns on smokers in California -- was signed into law by Hollywood icon Schwarzenegger on Wednesday at the state capitol in Sacramento.

When I read this article it made me think how irritating it is when I see people throw their cigarette butts out of their car window which prompted the illustration below.

This Guy Doesn’t Have a Leg to Stand On

This is one of the strangest (true) news stories I have read in quite a while.

Two men fight for custody of amputated leg
MAIDEN, North Carolina (AP) — A South Carolina man who stored his severed leg in a barbecue smoker that was later auctioned off is locked in a custody dispute with a North Carolina man who found it.
John Wood's leg was amputated near the knee after a 2004 airplane crash. He asked doctors to give it to him so he could be buried as a whole man when he died.
The limb, which Wood had kept in the smoker in a storage facility after he lost his home, was bought by Shannon Whisnant last Tuesday in an auction held by the storage company because Wood had missed his monthly payments.Whisnant initially gave it to police, who subsequently turned it over to a funeral home when it became clear it was not the result of foul play.
But Whisnant, who put a sign on the empty smoker charging adults $3 and children $1 for a look, now wants it back.

"He's making a freak show out of it," Wood told The Charlotte Observer for a Monday story. "He wants to put money in his pocket with this thing."
Whisnant, who was unsuccessful in his bid to get the leg from the funeral home, consulted with a lawyer and decided his best move was to persuade Wood to share custody and profits.
"It's a strange incident and Halloween's just around the corner," Whisnant said. "The price will be going up if I get (a stake in) the leg."
Wood, who is heading to Maiden to pick up his leg, said the two men can meet, but he is not interested in using the leg to make money.
"I just think it's despicable," he said. "I don't mind having the 15 minutes of fame, but I'm not looking to really profit off this thing."

The Royal Flush

Minneapolis Airport Men's Room New Tourist Attraction

MINNEAPOLIS (AP) - "Where's the bathroom?" That's the question travelers at the Minneapolis airport are asking. Since U.S. Senator Larry Craig of Idaho was arrested in a sex sting, the bathroom has become a tourist attraction. Airport information specialist Karen Evans says some people are even taking pictures of the infamous bathroom. Craig was arrested June 11th by a Minneapolis airport police officer. The Republican pleaded guilty to misdemeanor disorderly conduct but is trying to withdraw that plea. Many airport workers say they get the question daily, and they watch as people stop by to take pictures. They say the bathroom is by the Lottery shop, next to Royal Zino Shoeshine.

When I saw this article I thought to myself what could be more ridicules.
Then I thought what’s next a brochure to promote this bathroom?
Then I thought hey that might be a fun thing to design.
So I came up with this first brochure daft to promote the Larry Craig Bathroom.
My apologies to the Senator. For details click again

This Airline Can Really Get Your Goat

Goats sacrificed to 'fix' airlines plane troubles
Wed Sep 5, 2007 6:01pm AEST

Nepal Airlines has acknowledged that it sacrificed two goats to appease a Hindu god following a spate of technical problems with one of its aircraft.
The goats were slaughtered in front of the Boeing 757 at Kathmandu airport.
The persistent faults have not been specified but they had led to the postponement of a number of flights. An airline official says after the ceremony, the plane successfully took off to Hong Kong.

"The snag in the plane has now been fixed and the aircraft has resumed its flights," said Raju KC, a senior airline official, without explaining what the problem had been.
Local media last week blamed the company's woes on an electrical fault.
It is common in Nepal to sacrifice animals like goats and buffaloes to appease different Hindu deities.
- BBC/Reuters

THE SCENE OF THE CRIME

I know you may think I’m crazy or obsessed but I went back to the scene of the crime.
I had to take the same road again on the way back from the beach so it’s not like I made a special trip. So I’m not completely nuts. (Just a little)..

I took a picture of the view someone would have if they stopped at the spot where the stop sign line is. As you can see by the Picture below you can’t really see anything unless you creep up slowly and do more of a rolling stop.

I was thinking about complaining and claim that it’s even more dangerous to come to a complete stop because you have to get your speed up very quickly to merge on to the very busy Topanga
Canyon Blvd.

I even had some pictures prepared of what happens when people come to a complete stop.

Here is a picture of the camera that took those pictures that fateful day



Anyway I have a feeling the parks department won’t buy this but I do feel better that I went back and investigated.

THIS CAN’T BE ME !

When I received this citation and photos (above) in the mail I went through these typical series of thoughts & emotions

Thought #1: “This must be a mistake”
Noticed that the photo was the make & color of my car.

Thought # 2: “This must be my wife when she borrowed my car”
Noticed that the date on the citation was the day I took off work to take my daughter to the beach and was driving on the street at the exact time that the citation had noted.

At this point it’s starting to look pretty bleak as far as "THIS CAN’T BE ME"

Thought # 3 "Hey maybe it was another person with a white PT Curser that was traveling on Pacific Coast Highway at the same time and had a license number that was really close to mine and the enforcement people that mail these things out accidentally reversed some numbers and sent the citation to me by mistake"

With all the decks stacked against me and a never say die attitude I went for the last minute pass into the end zone

I went out to my car with citation in hand looked at my license plate and made sure the numbers on the photo matched EXACTLY.
(They did) Game over, the fat lady was singing.

Thought # 4: "What a rip off!! How can they prove from this photo that I didn’t come to a complete stop ?"

At this point I recognized that I was starting to sound like some big cry baby making excuses and not taking responsibility for my actions and to just pay the $100.00 like a man.

Thought # 5 I will just pretend that this $100.00 went for taking my wife out to eat last week when our dinner plans fell through.

MONA LISA WAS STRANGLED

I hate to be a naysayer or a party pooper or an anti-conspiracy guy but aren’t we all a little tired of the Leonardo da Vinci's Last Supper hidden meanings, cracking the code thing?

I think if Di Vinci was alive today he would say something like "Guys, Guys, Guys it’s just a painting ok".

Here is the latest Last Supper theory
Did Leonardo Da Vinci Conceal Images in The Last Supper?

By super-imposing the reversed image on the original image, Pesci discovered what appears to be a figure holding a baby (center left). The image also appears to show Templar knights standing at opposite ends of the long table.

"I came across it by accident, from some of the details you can infer that we are not talking about chance but about a precise calculation," Pesci told journalists during a press conference earlier this week.


I’m a little suspicious of the “I came across it by accident” part.

I guess this Pesci guy just happened to reverse the image and super-impose it on the other image. Plus where is the baby? I'm still looking.

Anyway so I decided to see if there was anything to this and thought I would start with De Vinci’s Mona Lisa and check for any hidden codes.


1. I first started with the painting in the normal position
2. Then I reversed the image of the painting
3. Then I turned the painting upside down
4. Then I super-imposed the upside down reversed image to the normal image
5. Then I accidentally moved the upside reversed image down and to the right a bit


I could not believe my eyes

The mystery of Mona Lisa was solved the code was broken.

Mona Lisa was strangled probably by De Vinci himself

Had To Share This

I took my wife & daughter to Santa Monica Pier over the weekend or I guess I should say my wife and daughter took me to Santa Monica pier. Its not my favorite place especially in the middle of summer on a Saturday. It seems the older I get the more I think how nice it would be to be home right now when going to such places.

Anyway as we were strolling down the pier we came across a street performer that was juggling so we thought we would check it out. He twirled some balls on his fingers and balanced a few spinning balls on his chin at the end of a tennis racket. Nothing that spectacular but he had a good personality and even smiled at me when I took his picture.

Then it came time for his big grand finale trick. Apparently he balances a tray of glasses (to the left) filled with blue water on his chin at the end of a tennis racket. He then brought out his bucket and placed it in front of the crowd and announced he was going to attempt his final unbelievable, spectacular trick and asked for some monetary help in doing so. This is pretty typical with street performers now days to bring out the hat right before the big trick. So we put in our customary dollar along with a few other spectators. You could then tell he was disappointed with his take so he kept on appealing to the crowd for a little more love in the way of cash but no one took him up on his pleas Then he did what I have never seen a street performer do. HE DID NOT PERFORM THE BIG GRAND FINALE TRICK.

He just looked at the few people that did give him money and said “I’m sorry about this”
I couldn’t believe it! After everybody waited through all of his not so great tricks to get to the part where he balances a tray full of glasses filled with blue water on his chin at the end of a tennis racket he instead takes his bucket and goes back to his chair I guess to wait for the next crowd to gather.
I mean what happened to Hey That’s Show Biz or The Show Must Go On?

Apparently before this guy decided to become a street performer he crunched the numbers and decided he needed a certain amount of money for each grand finale trick in order to feed and clothe his family.

Below is a spectators metal picture of what it might have looked like if the street performer would have performed the grand finale trick of balancing a tray full of glasses filled with blue water on his chin at the end of a tennis racket instead of committing the ultimate street performer sin by not following through with your big trick due to lack of funds

I feel better looking at this that my dollar was not spent in vain

Con Tractor

When my wife & I decided to renovate our master bath we thought about hiring a general contractor. Then I thought to myself “I don’t need no stinkin general contractor” I can be MY OWN general contractor.
How hard could it be coordinate a little ole bathroom? I mean after all I do know a tile guy, I know a guy that knows a plumber and I know a guy that knows a guy that does shower doors. Then I could do the painting!

OK LET’S GET STARTED!


It started out pretty good. The tile guy even built a bench (at my wife’s request) so she can sit down in the shower and shave her legs.

Just a word of warning when picking out tile: Calculating the cost of $2.50 cents for each tile will not cost you $500.00 for 200 square feet. There are things called bull nose and decorative pieces after you add these things in it will cost an additional 5 million dollars.



When the tile man was done with his work your trusty general contractor called the plumber to connect the new vanity and install the new toilet and put the new shower hardware on.

Now it’s time to call that guy that knows a guy to call the shower door guy to measure for our new shower doors.






Then it happened:
When the shower door guy arrived he walked into the bathroom and looked at the shower area and said these 5 dreaded words while he scratched his head. “WHO IS YOUR GENERAL CONTRACTOR?” I then answered sheepishly “that would be me”. Then I tried to sound like a seasoned general contractor with an attitude when I said the next 3 words “WHAT’S YOUR QUESTION?” I knew what he was going to say next was not good news but then I thought to myself hey maybe he has never seen such precision and organization skills in his 20 year career as a shower door installer and was amazed that an average guy like me could master this undertaking and just wanted to shake my hand.

This was never said and he didn’t shake anything but his head.

He just looked up at me and said “there’s no way I can legally put a shower door here”.
It turns out that our new improved shower complete with a bench so my wife can shave her legs was too close to the toilet for any shower doors known to man to function properly. The only option was a shower curtain or to move the toilet.

We decided after spending a billion dollars on the tile and shower hardware a shower curtain was not an option.When the plumber gave me his estimate to move the toilet he kept telling me how lucky I was that we had a crawl space under the house instead of a concrete slab and that it would only cost me $900.00 to move the toilet.

I thought to myself "wow lucky me”

Called the tile guy back to make a new hole in our new tile for our new toilet location.

Called the plumber back to put new pipes under the house and reinstall our new toilet in its new location.

Called the tile guy back again to patch and tile over old toilet location.

Called professional painter. Too tired to do it myself plus after all I am a general contractor. Plus my wife told me to.

NEW LOCATION !

Our new bathroom with new tile including bull nose and decorative pieces and a new shower complete with a bench so my wife can sit down and shave her legs and new shower doors along with a new vanity and our most treasured feature: A new toilet location. Now we can finally just sit down and enjoy the new view.

Unreal

New Zealand: '4real' not a name

WELLINGTON, New Zealand (AP) June 25, 2007 — New Zealand authorities have blocked a couple's bid to officially name their new son "4real," saying numerals are not allowed. Pat and Sheena Wheaton said they decided to name their new baby "4real" shortly after having an ultrasound and being struck by the reality of his impending arrival.
"For most of us, when we try to figure out what our names mean, we have to look it up in a babies book and ... there's no direct link between the meaning and the name," Pat Wheaton told TV One on Wednesday. "With this name, everyone knows what it means."
But when the parents filed the name with New Zealand's Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages, they were told names beginning with a number were against the rules.
The government office has opened negotiations with the parents about the name under a policy that says all unusual names must be given case-by-case consideration.

I like this part:

They decided to name their new baby "4real" shortly after having an ultrasound and being struck by the reality of his impending arrival.

What did they think was arriving before the ultrasound a pepperoni pizza?

Here are some other baby names that might have been rejected after parents viewed their ultrasound

· Wow Look At That
· Look She’s Moving
· No Silly That’s His Umbilical Cord
· Look What We Cre 8 Ed

(Other contributions are welcome)

Tips Not Excepted

Another example of zero tolerance for zero tolerance

Miniature toy weapons banned from fifth-grade graduation

Associated Press - June 15, 2007 11:14 AM ET
RANCHO PALOS
VERDES, Calif. (AP)

A fifth-grade classroom turned into a free-speech
battleground yesterday, when students in Rancho Palos Verdes were asked to
remove the weapons from their toy soldiers. Students at Cornerstone school typically decorate their fifth-grade graduation hats with miniature cars, figurines, and other toys. Before the ceremony yesterday, students were told they could not participate unless they cut off the tips of the guns carried by their plastic GI's.

Parents reacted angrily, calling the decision censorship. But the school principal and
district officials said the guns violated the school's zero-tolerance for
weapons on campus.